Some Jokes

Pete · **Posted:** Fri Jun 10, 2005 5:38 pm

someone has far too much time on their hands to do that with the hl2 engine.

The All Powerful Matthwe · **Posted:** Fri Jun 10, 2005 10:50 pm

rated - sucks!!!

that guy needs to get laaaaid!!!!

Bob · **Posted:** Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:57 am

not a joke............ but to provide some kind of relief.... just take your pick :wink:

http://hatethatfrog.desktopcreatures.com/index.asp?q=Ringtones

and this one's good for you boys........
http://www.rachelgetsfruity.com

god i'm bored :roll:

Munger · **Posted:** Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:17 am

Last week that crazy frog game was the highest played game on addictinggames.com

Bob · **Posted:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:12 am

1. What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?

A liar

13. What do you say to a chav with a job?

Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?

Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville?

Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?

A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?

Granny

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, they'll screw anything

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?

A start

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?

None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower?

He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road?

To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever

23. What do you call a Chav at college?

The cleaner

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?" The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

25. Two chavs jump off Beachy Head, who wins?

Society

Pondage · **Posted:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:28 am

We must have had them before surely?!?!?!

Nick · **Posted:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:28 am

Even if they've already bin posted, its very nice to read them again! :lol:

Bob · **Posted:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:37 am

shussssssshhhhhhhhh, don't spoil my fun of being ill and so therefore allowed to post random crap

The All Powerful Matthwe · **Posted:** Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:34 pm

the best one without a doubt is the chav crossing a road, so funny coz its true!!!

Monkaed_out · **Posted:** Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:40 am

I Nailed That Frog 85 on that shooting Game anyone beat that I dont think so

Munger · **Posted:** Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:19 am

Yep!

The All Powerful Matthwe · **Posted:** Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:24 am

u suck ian

Monkaed_out · **Posted:** Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:59 am

Well I hit 93 but I cant figure out how to get this Dam Pic on the net

Munger · **Posted:** Sat Jun 18, 2005 5:06 pm

a likely story

Bob · **Posted:** Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:19 pm

A man is driving his car one day when he gets snarled up in traffic, he winds down his window and cranes his neck to see what the hold up is. As he looks out a policeman come to his car...

Man :: What's the hold-up constable?

PC :: There's a group of Chav's in the road up ahead threatening to set themselves on fire if I can't get get them £5000 in the next 25 mins! So I'm just walking down the queue making a collection. Just give what you can spare...

Man :: Right... I see... so what have you got so far...?

PC :: About a gallon and a half but some people are still syphoning.

jonnie · **Posted:** Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:05 pm

Bob · **Posted:** Fri Jul 01, 2005 10:13 am

The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title.

One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar.

The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

longwipsybeard · **Joined:** Sat May 25, 2002 3:55 pm **Posts:** 2390

genius

Munger · **Posted:** Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:56 pm

http://mirrored.flabber.nl/run.nude/

not a joke more of a game, run and jump over stuff while naked and running through a snowy forest

The All Powerful Matthwe · **Posted:** Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:41 pm

haha thats mint, nicely scaled down penis due to the cold

Munger · **Posted:** Sat Jul 09, 2005 9:50 am

what do you mean scaled down? :oops:

Munger · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:36 am

http://www.muchosucko.com/video-kickedinthenuts.html

Video clip of a TV show where some guy in an orange afro just runs up to people and kicks them in the nuts, proper crazy coz when he says who he is they're happy to be on TV
Gotta watch it all coz at the end he gets two little kids playing in a park

Pete · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2005 4:01 pm

thats really sick - if i got kicked in the nuts i would kick him back

The All Powerful Matthwe · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2005 5:29 pm

actually if u got kicked in the nuts ud prob fall to the floor crying and cupping ureself.......

such as the unfortunate tennis ball incident last week :cry:

Pete · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2005 6:00 pm

there are the medical implications too for kicking someone in the nuts - not nice

Pondage · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2005 6:19 pm

Yeah i know someone who knows someone who kicked there boyfriend in the balls, been in hospital ever since and has been thru an operation

Munger · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:55 am

Yes Steph, a "friend of a friend" is that why we havent seen Dean for a while?

Pondage · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:54 am

hehe if id have kicked him in the balls you wouldnt see him for longer than a week!!

(thou in all honesty I dont think id have the balls (no pun intended) to kick a guy in the balls!)

Pete · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 12:27 pm

your nuts

jonnie · **Posted:** Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:29 pm

Look after ya balls people! Trust me, u feel less of a man if you lose one

:oops:

Some Jokes

Who is online